TimehforTeeAh

Dear Hogfather, I have been very somewhat almost good this year. For Hogswatch I would like Mr. Jonathan Teatime. Wearing a bow on his head, please, and nothing else. I would like him to [something explicit]. Then I’d like him to pin me down and [something even more explicit]. Or maybe [something positively unnerving]. I never really thought I liked that kind of thing, but… A deep, rattling sigh, like dead leaves skittering across a tomb. The bony hand slowly lowered the letter. He was filling in for the Hogfather again this year, albeit under much more pleasant circumstances than the last time. The old fellow had simply wanted a